A collection of funny classroom stories from various web sources.
First grader #1: Miss D.*, how old are you?
23-year-old Miss D.: Well…
First grader #2: Shhh! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to ask an old lady how old she is?
— Hauppauge, New York Overheard by: Toni
(We are studying the US state capitals in class, and the teacher is quizzing us on them.)
Teacher: “What is the capital of Connecticut?”
Teacher: “Umm… here’s a hint: It’s a shape and a car.”
Student: “Square Lamborghini!”
(It’s really Hartford. We still laugh about that to this day.)
— ELEMENTARY SCHOOL | CA, USA http://notalwayslearning.com/
Students were creating a human skeleton using a variety of pastas. They could break them and shape them pretty much any way they needed to in order to complete the skeleton. I noticed something odd on one students skeleton and stupidly decided to ask about it…
Me: "Hey Ashley…why do you have that piece of fettuccine stuck to the pelvis?“
Student: "Well he’s a boy so…it’s a penis.”
Me: "Oh! Uh…well just so you know there isn’t actually a bone…there.“
Student: "Oh my gosh really?! …Wait…then why do they call it a….”
Me: "NO! Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. No more talking.“
I backed away and never questioned another pasta skeleton the rest of the day…
Teacher: What’s daddy’s first name?
Teacher: No, his real name…like what does mommy call him?
Student: Oh, lazy.
Student: My babysitter is picking me up today; mommy had to go to the vagina doctor.
Four Yr. Old on a field trip: Is this whole place China?
Teacher: We are still in NY but this is China town
Four Yr. Old: I bet Chinese McDonalds is deeelicious!!
Teacher: Class, what comes after the letter K?
I recently asked a student where his homework was. He replied, “It’s still in my pencil.”
—Larry Timmons, Surprise, Arizona
My sixth-grade class would not leave me alone for a second. It was a constant stream of “Ms. Osborn?”
“Ms. Osborn?” “Ms. Osborn?” Fed up, I said firmly, “Do you think we could go for just five minutes without anyone saying ‘Ms. Osborn’?!”
The classroom got quiet. Then, from the back, a soft voice said, “Um … Cyndi?”
—Cyndi Osborn, New York, New York
"Yeah, I want to go to college! I really want to go! I have lots of money to pay for college!"
[Later on in conversation]
"Wait, college is school? I don't want to go to college! I didn't know college is SCHOOL!!"
On the last day of the year, my
first graders gave me beautiful handwritten letters. As I read them aloud,
my emotions got the better of me, and I started to choke up.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m having a hard time reading.”
One of my students said, “Just sound it out.”
—Cindy Bugg, Clive, Iowa